So I went on a hike today in the woods of my local park...to be alone. I always enjoy walking in the woods. Enjoying my surroundings such as a natural waterfall, (I always have been intrigued and fascinated with water and it's movement) the leaves falling all around me, and the cool air in my lungs. Yes I went for the hike foremost for the exercise but it also helps me try to clear my mind. What's been on my mind lately is loneliness.
I'm not one to be a drama queen. I am one to whine but just to be funny or amusing and I'm definitely not one to be "woe is me." Maybe it has something to do with my seasonal depression that usually starts around this time. I think it also has to do with getting out of a 4 almost 5 year relationship and dealing with being single. Don't get me wrong there are great things to being single, the freedom to come and go as you please. But there are also big downsides to it as well. The foremost with me personally being the physical and emotional contact on a deep level with another human being. As I stated in one of my earlier blogs was that I deeply enjoy human interaction and now a big part of that in my life is gone. Also, don't get me wrong I have friends, close friends and a family but I just don't think there is someone or something that can replace that special someone in your life.
I also went to take a hike to get away from all this political bullshit that I keep getting bombarded with everyday. I've noticed all the campaign posters on peoples front lawns and it really irks me. The remind me of the infantile bummer stickers that say your child is an honor roll student at such and such school. I really don't personally care about that information, just as I don't care who you are voting for. You are not smarter or wiser than anyone else by displaying that information. You are still conforming to the 2 party puppet system and are part of the problem and not the solution. Yes, I am saying by voting for either a Democrat or a Republican, or even an Independent for that matter, you are still part of the problem and supporting corruption, dominance, destruction of the human family on earth and greed. No human being is worse or better than any other. It's the wool that's been pulled over your eyes to force you to believe that there is a difference and you need to make your judgements on those differences, instead of what makes us the same.
Beyond all this. On my way home I needed to stop to get shampoo. I realized something as I was driving and that is that i feel more comfortable with the thought of stealing it from Wal-mart than to actually purchase it from Wal-mart. So I went into my local Giant supermarket and purchased it there to make my dilemma easier on myself. Wal-mart has a higher income than some 1st world nations, not 2nd or 3rd, 1st world nations. That idea itself made me sick to my stomach. I did the research and found out this was true so I'm glad I did not purchase it there and at the supermarket instead. Moral dilemmas have always been hard for me. To stick up for what you believe in. Because I have found humans are more quick to point out when you don't do something you feel is "morally" right to oneself even though they may do the same thing without even a thought, let alone feelings of shame or guilt.
Anyway, the hiked worked to help me solve some problems but brought about others. Nature is like that. It's always there, always dependable, and will be there even long after I am dead and gone. I just like listening to what it has to say from time to time and stop myself from doing all the talking and thinking.
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